I never really thought I would get married.  Even as a little girl, I didn’t dream about “my special day” or my future prince charming.  Instead, I always thought I would live in some far off exotic place curing people of diseases while wearing white linen safari outfits.  And sipping Gin & Tonics to ward off malaria.

But then I met Mr. P and discovered that I couldn’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with him.  So we got hitched and thus far, I really like being married.  I like having the world take my commitment to my relationship seriously.  I like having a family (clearly I include four legged creatures under this familial umbrella).   I like that I’m in this for the long haul.

What I do not like, is being a wife.  By this, I mean the expectations that are heaped upon you because you are now a Mrs. (which, technically I am not because I didn’t change my name)  I don’t like having people assume that it is my responsibility to buy birthday cards and christmas presents because, well- I’m the wife!  I don’t like people sending me cleaning coupons and recipes because- I’m the wife!  I don’t like people disregarding my last name and reducing my identity to Mr. and Mrs. P.  I don’t like that is is my responsibility to worry about what to bring to a family gathering or holiday party because- I’m the wife!  I don’t like people assuming that just because I am married, I will want to spend hours discussing their wedding menu and bridesmaids dresses because- I’m the wife!

Now maybe I internalize some societal pressures on my own and my inlaws, relatives and friends don’t really expect me to morph into Martha Stewart just because I file a joint tax return.  However, I do believe that no matter how far we have come in achieving workplace equality and improved rights, we need to work on updating the definition of wife.